I don't know what this is...

I have 5 unpublished drafts.
 I keep wanting to write, but I don't know what to say.
January has been great, but things have suddenly taken a turn. Slowly going back to how they used to be, which wasn't so good. I still don't know what to say.
So, I wrote a poem. Just quickly, but here's the first draft.

 Raw.  


Feel my heart, feel the vein 
As blood rushes through, there is no pain.
 But only in the mind , can one see, 
the peson I envision, I hope that she's me. 

I hope she see's the world; for its holy and true. 
I hope she finds love, or it's that which finds you.

 Too many pale faces.
 All look alike. come from the darkness.
 Grave from the fight.
 Fight for the soul, discover its code.
 At 17 years, she felt oh so old. 

I don't if this makes sense. I don't if anyone even reads this.
But this is me, feeling something.
This is me, expressing.

Casual Outings with Zuw

Just a cute little outfit for a dinner. Nude tone skirt with a fab texture, and a black wool leveled sweater. Throw on a few accessories, and you're ready to go. I wish I could've gotten the boots too. A snap from a nice evening, and Zuw striking a poseee.

FIX UP, LOOK SHARP

p.s. I AM TRYING TO GET A NICE CAMERA. PLEASE FORGIVE THE QUALITY (OR LACK THERE OF)

IS IT TIME FOR THE BIG CHOP?

OKAY. YES.
THIS IS A REAL CONSIDERATION.

So, for a while, I've been considering doing the big chop. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, the big chop is when you decide to cut off most or all your hair, and basically restart. It's pretty scary to be honest.

All my life, I've only wanted long hair, and have only felt truly at my best with long hair. But,I've only gotten that with braids, extensions, etc. I'll admit it, my natural hair is one of my biggest insecurities. It probably has a lot to do with the "good hair" vs "bad hair" debate, and I've always felt that I've been of the less pretty side of that. Now, I have done the natural thang! I really have, but in Canada, with Canadian weather, and Canadian snow, it's kind of hard to maintain health when your hair isn't made for this kind of climate.
That's just how it is.

But, I think I want to take the next step to really let my hair do its thaaang.
I usually go natural over the spring-summer months, when we're lucky enough to get it, but now, it doesn't feel like its enough. I don't know. This could be just a spur of the moment thing, but I'm really debating taking that step.

Can a 4C really take that kind of chop and grow back better and stronger? I dont know, and that's my fear. That my hair wont grow. And honestly, it doesn't feel like it has over the last... 4-5 years?

I think I need change. Maybe change my habits, change my regime, do something!
Any suggestions for a High school senior debaiting the big chop? Holla at your girlllllllll

- Zuw