I don't know what this is...

I have 5 unpublished drafts.
 I keep wanting to write, but I don't know what to say.
January has been great, but things have suddenly taken a turn. Slowly going back to how they used to be, which wasn't so good. I still don't know what to say.
So, I wrote a poem. Just quickly, but here's the first draft.

 Raw.  


Feel my heart, feel the vein 
As blood rushes through, there is no pain.
 But only in the mind , can one see, 
the peson I envision, I hope that she's me. 

I hope she see's the world; for its holy and true. 
I hope she finds love, or it's that which finds you.

 Too many pale faces.
 All look alike. come from the darkness.
 Grave from the fight.
 Fight for the soul, discover its code.
 At 17 years, she felt oh so old. 

I don't if this makes sense. I don't if anyone even reads this.
But this is me, feeling something.
This is me, expressing.